There is nothing quite like traveling in cars with children. Think about it. Your ability to react is severely hampered by the fact that 1- you are securely held in place by your seat belt. 2- The lack of space between the center console and roof of the car makes it nearly impossible to reach your children without first knocking yourself senseless. It's a lose lose situation, and as a result, by the time you exit your vehicle, you will either be frustrated and stressed out or laughing maniacally while your eyes slowly glaze over.
The following is an excerpt of the strange, albeit stressful, happenings in our car that have left me with a nervous eye twitch and strong desire for chocolate. Maybe you can relate?
“Oops, I forgot that I still have a slug in my pocket.”
“What is a slug doing in your pocket Isaiah? On second thought, don’t answer that. Just get it out before you forget about it and it goes through the wash.”
“I’m trying to get it out, but I can’t find it.”
“A slug? There’s a slug in the car? Get it out before it leaves a slimy trail.”
“I’m trying to find it dad, but…oh wait, here it is in the corner of my pocket!”
“DON’T OPEN THE DOOR, WE’RE DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD!”
“But you said to get rid of it!”
“For Pete’s sake! Throwing it out the window would have been sufficient!”
“But I didn’t want it to get hurt!”
"Could you please pull over Adam. I need to get out of this car."
“Hey, Mom. Would you rather have no food or no air?”
“What kind of question is that? I don't even know how to answer such a question.”
“Well what about you dad. No food or no air?”
“Please stop talking Isaiah. We need to have silence in the car.”
“Can I just say one more thing? Caleb’s seatbelt is not buckled.”
“WHAT?!”
“I said his seat belt is not buckl...”
“We heard what you said. Caleb, honey, why isn’t your seat belt buckled?”
“Because I can’t do it.”
“What are you talking about? You do it all the time.”
“Dad, did you know that 32+32 equals 64?”
“I said silence, Isaiah. Who keeps kicking my seat?”
“It’s my elbow, Adam! I’m trying to unlock Caleb’s seat belt. Isaiah, I thought we told you to get rid of the slug.”
“I DID!”
“Then what is that on the floor?”
“What, that?”
“Yes, that!”
“It’s a smashed raisin.”
“WHO’S SMASHING RAISINS IN MY CAR?”
“It’s just one raisin, Adam. And don’t worry, I can get it out.”
"Mom, are we there yet?"
"Isaiah, we just left the house 3 minutes...Why is Caleb crying?"
"Because I'm playing with his car."
"Give him the car."
"But it's not fair that I don't have a car."
"Isaiah, give Caleb his car, sit on your hands and shut your mouth. Caleb, stop crying. Adam, drive faster."
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