I woke up around 3:00 am this morning and was unable to go back to sleep. I am not complaining because it ended up being a blessing, but I was a little irritated while I lay there tossing and turning for over an hour. You see, I had this song in my head that I could not get rid of; a song that I used to sing while teaching (or rather, corralling) a preschool bible class when Adam and I were first married.
The reason for this random song was lost to me at first, but when I decided to stop fighting it, and instead sing along (quietly, of course), I figured out what God was doing.
The song goes along with the passage from Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
It is easy in times of uncertainty to think that we can take control of the reins and do a better job of leading than what God is currently doing. Sometimes he doesn't work as quickly as we think he should, or we are perceiving him as not working at all. When we allow these thoughts to take action, we are no longer going along the path that God set for us.
Instead, we start running towards the things that seem to quiet that uncertain feeling even if it is temporary. But the problem is, it will only last a short time, because eventually, those feelings will start creeping in again and we will be forced run to the next safe spot. We end up zigzagging on a crooked path, having spent more wasted time and energy than God's straight path would have required.
In most cases, God's path does not require much outside of trusting him. But, trusting God is a major issue. It is during those times of uncertainty that we can choose to seek our own path or trust God and watch him work.
It's not always easy but it is always rewarding.
Update
Labels: Adoption Process
A few weeks ago I mentioned that the court system in Novosibirsk was going through some changes with the way they obtain legal status for an adoptive child. It has been decided that the social worker who represents the adoptive child will work at a regional level under the Department of Education. Previously they were working at a local level under the Bodies of Guardianship and Trusteeship.
It seems like a simple change, but is has caused many families, who were preparing to travel to finalize their adoptions, to be delayed. As a result, referrals will slow down a bit until they can get through the families already backed up in the court system.
Traditionally, Novosibirsk moves quickly with referrals and they foresee the region getting back to normal speed once all the changes have been smoothed out, hopefully within 1-2 months.
While we wait, we are trying to prepare ourselves as much as possible, but are also enjoying the down time we have had these last few weeks. Most of the second phase of our dossier is complete now. The two remaining documents of our dossier (medical and background checks) have to be completed within 3 months of our court date, so we don't need to focus on them at this time.
We will keep you posted as things progress!
It seems like a simple change, but is has caused many families, who were preparing to travel to finalize their adoptions, to be delayed. As a result, referrals will slow down a bit until they can get through the families already backed up in the court system.
Traditionally, Novosibirsk moves quickly with referrals and they foresee the region getting back to normal speed once all the changes have been smoothed out, hopefully within 1-2 months.
While we wait, we are trying to prepare ourselves as much as possible, but are also enjoying the down time we have had these last few weeks. Most of the second phase of our dossier is complete now. The two remaining documents of our dossier (medical and background checks) have to be completed within 3 months of our court date, so we don't need to focus on them at this time.
We will keep you posted as things progress!
What Does A Mother Do?
Labels: Mothering
I have oftentimes found myself thinking "am I ready to throw another child in the mix?" But the truth is, in the midst of the screaming, crying, tantrums, sticky hands and runny noses, I am reminded of the kisses, giggles, tickle wars and 'I love you, mom' letters. It is because of those times that I know it is worth all those frustrating moments.
The following question was posed to advice columnist Carolyn Hax of the Washington Post and I just love her response as she sums everything up in just a few sentences.
Dear Carolyn: Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group ...
OK. I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners ... I do all those things, too. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events); I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy, but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a contest ("my life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks have the same questions.
— Tacoma, Wash.
Dear Tacoma: Relax and enjoy. You're funny.
Or, you're lying about having friends with kids.
Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.
I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.
So, because it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, cleaned, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces checkout-line screaming.
It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.
It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.
It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.
It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything — language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.
It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand, or keep your snit to yourself.
http://www.examiner.com/x-1320-Seeking-Balance-Examiner~topic49450-why-dont-friends-with-kids-have-time
The following question was posed to advice columnist Carolyn Hax of the Washington Post and I just love her response as she sums everything up in just a few sentences.
Dear Carolyn: Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group ...
OK. I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners ... I do all those things, too. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events); I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy, but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a contest ("my life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks have the same questions.
— Tacoma, Wash.
Dear Tacoma: Relax and enjoy. You're funny.
Or, you're lying about having friends with kids.
Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.
I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.
So, because it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, cleaned, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces checkout-line screaming.
It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.
It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.
It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.
It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything — language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.
It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand, or keep your snit to yourself.
http://www.examiner.com/x-1320-Seeking-Balance-Examiner~topic49450-why-dont-friends-with-kids-have-time
Are Christians today perceived as people who serve or as people who forcefully try to rule?
This question was asked during my bible study a few weeks ago, and I have thought about it many times since. In fact, our pastor spoke on a similar subject today and I can't help but to share it with you because I believe that all Christians and non-Christians alike, need to hear it.
But first, let me ask this question:
Did Jesus live his life as a ruler or a servant?
Mark 10:45
For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.
You see, Jesus made a ministry out of serving people. And you might be surprised to find that it wasn't the rich and the religious "elites", but the poor, widowed, orphaned, sick, prostitutes and tax collectors. He served the people who were considered outcasts and unworthy, and he did it through humility, sacrifice and love.
How good are we at loving people? I'm not talking about loving our family members, best friends or those that we share similar beliefs with, but rather the people who, in order to love them, would require us to step out of our comfort zone.
Are we doing a better job of judging people than we are loving them? Maybe it's time we start living the example that Jesus set; humble ourselves, sacrifice our time and serve the people who are considered the least among us.
This question was asked during my bible study a few weeks ago, and I have thought about it many times since. In fact, our pastor spoke on a similar subject today and I can't help but to share it with you because I believe that all Christians and non-Christians alike, need to hear it.
But first, let me ask this question:
Did Jesus live his life as a ruler or a servant?
Mark 10:45
For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.
You see, Jesus made a ministry out of serving people. And you might be surprised to find that it wasn't the rich and the religious "elites", but the poor, widowed, orphaned, sick, prostitutes and tax collectors. He served the people who were considered outcasts and unworthy, and he did it through humility, sacrifice and love.
How good are we at loving people? I'm not talking about loving our family members, best friends or those that we share similar beliefs with, but rather the people who, in order to love them, would require us to step out of our comfort zone.
Are we doing a better job of judging people than we are loving them? Maybe it's time we start living the example that Jesus set; humble ourselves, sacrifice our time and serve the people who are considered the least among us.
This video was sent to me by several friends, and I think it is worth sharing. It makes me think about how we can change the world by touching the lives of the people around us.
Check it out!
How do you celebrate Christmas?
It wasn't too long ago that we would spend the Christmas season scrambling to find the right kind of gift for extended family that we rarely saw. We started feeling like we were just giving gifts because that is what you do at Christmastime, but there really wasn't much thought put into those gifts. And I could probably bet money that most of those gifts we gave were met with "that's great, but what would we ever do with it?" If you have ever had that thought, then most likely, that gift was given by me!
Have you ever been caught in the mad shopping scramble and wondered why you were participating?
A few years ago, our family decided to stop buying gifts for each other and instead put that gift money to good use. Here is what we do:
Every year a family member is put in charge of the Christmas charity. All other family members send the money (that would have been used to buy meaningless gifts) to the family in charge. This money is then sent to reputable charities and causes, either in the U.S., or around the world, that God has placed on the hearts of those in charge. Once the charities have been decided and the money allocated, a letter is written to all other family members explaining what our total donations achieved. Our favorite Christmas tradition has become opening this letter on Christmas morning and seeing how we have helped to change the world ( a few people at a time).
I can't tell you how good it feels to know that we are giving impoverished families food, and along with that, hope. Or, for the child who doesn't have a gift to open on Christmas morning, joy. Just imagine what we can accomplish if we all decide to put aside our wants and instead focus on the unmet needs of millions around the world. Not only would it change the world, but our own hearts as well.
Here is another thought. What if we didn't stop at just celebrating Christmas. What if we decided to celebrate Jesus all year, by doing the work that he has called us to do? After all, the work that began at His birth will continue on through you and me.
"For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."
Isaiah 9:6
Merry Christmas!
Check it out!
How do you celebrate Christmas?
It wasn't too long ago that we would spend the Christmas season scrambling to find the right kind of gift for extended family that we rarely saw. We started feeling like we were just giving gifts because that is what you do at Christmastime, but there really wasn't much thought put into those gifts. And I could probably bet money that most of those gifts we gave were met with "that's great, but what would we ever do with it?" If you have ever had that thought, then most likely, that gift was given by me!
Have you ever been caught in the mad shopping scramble and wondered why you were participating?
A few years ago, our family decided to stop buying gifts for each other and instead put that gift money to good use. Here is what we do:
Every year a family member is put in charge of the Christmas charity. All other family members send the money (that would have been used to buy meaningless gifts) to the family in charge. This money is then sent to reputable charities and causes, either in the U.S., or around the world, that God has placed on the hearts of those in charge. Once the charities have been decided and the money allocated, a letter is written to all other family members explaining what our total donations achieved. Our favorite Christmas tradition has become opening this letter on Christmas morning and seeing how we have helped to change the world ( a few people at a time).
I can't tell you how good it feels to know that we are giving impoverished families food, and along with that, hope. Or, for the child who doesn't have a gift to open on Christmas morning, joy. Just imagine what we can accomplish if we all decide to put aside our wants and instead focus on the unmet needs of millions around the world. Not only would it change the world, but our own hearts as well.
Here is another thought. What if we didn't stop at just celebrating Christmas. What if we decided to celebrate Jesus all year, by doing the work that he has called us to do? After all, the work that began at His birth will continue on through you and me.
"For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."
Isaiah 9:6
Merry Christmas!
Update
Labels: Adoption Process
There has been some changes within the courts in Novosibirsk, and as a result, both referrals and adoptions have been put on hold for up to one month.
For each adoption case in the past, the inspector (social worker) in Russia, who works on obtaining legal status for an adoptive child, has answered to the Bodies of Guardianship and Trusteeship on a local level. Recently, the decision was made to have the inspectors answer to regional authorities, but they have yet to decide what authority that should be. Until that decision is made, the inspectors are unable to represent adoptive children to the courts.
We are in a great spot right now as this does not directly affect us. However, it is a great reminder that things are constantly changing within the Russian court system, and that we should anticipate setbacks at any time. I have found these setbacks to be a great reality check as we get closer to bringing our daughter home.
For each adoption case in the past, the inspector (social worker) in Russia, who works on obtaining legal status for an adoptive child, has answered to the Bodies of Guardianship and Trusteeship on a local level. Recently, the decision was made to have the inspectors answer to regional authorities, but they have yet to decide what authority that should be. Until that decision is made, the inspectors are unable to represent adoptive children to the courts.
We are in a great spot right now as this does not directly affect us. However, it is a great reminder that things are constantly changing within the Russian court system, and that we should anticipate setbacks at any time. I have found these setbacks to be a great reality check as we get closer to bringing our daughter home.
A strange phenomenon occurs when Isaiah and Caleb are sitting still enough to process their thoughts. It often times happens in the car when they are watching the world and something seems to catch their eye. I like to call this phenomenon "random questions".
Isaiah is typically more outgoing and curious, while Caleb tends to be more quiet and agreeable. While they have very different personalities, they both play a very important role in these conversations.
For example, not too long ago, the boys and I were driving in the car. I was lost in my own thoughts while the boys were tightly buckled in their seats. (I have learned that if Isaiah is given even a few inches of slack in his seatbelt, he goes straight for my headrest and pulls it up then pushes it down...constantly!) So, I emphasize the word "tightly", because he can not move, he can only think.
Visualize this conversation:
Isaiah: Mom, what is my sisters name going to be?
Mom: I am not really sure yet. What names do you like?
Isaiah: Oh, I am thinking something like Gabriella, Megan..Ooh I've got the perfect name... Skecher!
Caleb: Yeah, Skecher
Isaiah: Mom, is Skecher a boys name or a girls name?
Mom: No, Skecher is the name of a shoe company, I don't think we will name her that.
Isaiah: But I really like that name, Skechers are the awesomest shoes.
Caleb: Yeah, Skecher
Mom: Okay, I will think about it, but let's think of some other names in the meantime.
The boys are getting really excited to meet their sister. They ask daily when she is going to come home and have even started writing notes to her. It has been fun to see them prepare and talk about how they are going to help take care of her.
It has been so good for them to be involved in the whole process, even when it comes down to having them help pick out a name. And who knows, maybe their sister will have a nickname that when heard, brings to mind a shoe!
Isaiah is typically more outgoing and curious, while Caleb tends to be more quiet and agreeable. While they have very different personalities, they both play a very important role in these conversations.
For example, not too long ago, the boys and I were driving in the car. I was lost in my own thoughts while the boys were tightly buckled in their seats. (I have learned that if Isaiah is given even a few inches of slack in his seatbelt, he goes straight for my headrest and pulls it up then pushes it down...constantly!) So, I emphasize the word "tightly", because he can not move, he can only think.
Visualize this conversation:
Isaiah: Mom, what is my sisters name going to be?
Mom: I am not really sure yet. What names do you like?
Isaiah: Oh, I am thinking something like Gabriella, Megan..Ooh I've got the perfect name... Skecher!
Caleb: Yeah, Skecher
Isaiah: Mom, is Skecher a boys name or a girls name?
Mom: No, Skecher is the name of a shoe company, I don't think we will name her that.
Isaiah: But I really like that name, Skechers are the awesomest shoes.
Caleb: Yeah, Skecher
Mom: Okay, I will think about it, but let's think of some other names in the meantime.
The boys are getting really excited to meet their sister. They ask daily when she is going to come home and have even started writing notes to her. It has been fun to see them prepare and talk about how they are going to help take care of her.
It has been so good for them to be involved in the whole process, even when it comes down to having them help pick out a name. And who knows, maybe their sister will have a nickname that when heard, brings to mind a shoe!
Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
This is a great passage, and given our current circumstances, I can totally relate.
I must admit that I struggle with being too anxious. However, when I decide to stop taking it on by myself, and instead give it over to God, he truly gives me a peace that surpasses understanding.
I believe that something powerful happens when we pray to God. And I am not just talking about the "God, please give me the new 47 inch flat screen TV" kind of prayer. I am talking about the kind of prayer where you are on your knees, praying to God because He is all you have left. This is the kind of prayer that comes after you realize that all other options have been exhausted and you feel like you are a mouse on an exercise wheel, running like crazy with nothing but exhaustion to show for it. Yeah, I have been there.
Prayer and petition - bringing a formal request while in communication with God.
Notice how the passage doesn't say that God will remove you from your troubles, but rather that the peace of God will guard your heart and mind. It's an amazing thing.
Try it! See what God does!
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
This is a great passage, and given our current circumstances, I can totally relate.
I must admit that I struggle with being too anxious. However, when I decide to stop taking it on by myself, and instead give it over to God, he truly gives me a peace that surpasses understanding.
I believe that something powerful happens when we pray to God. And I am not just talking about the "God, please give me the new 47 inch flat screen TV" kind of prayer. I am talking about the kind of prayer where you are on your knees, praying to God because He is all you have left. This is the kind of prayer that comes after you realize that all other options have been exhausted and you feel like you are a mouse on an exercise wheel, running like crazy with nothing but exhaustion to show for it. Yeah, I have been there.
Prayer and petition - bringing a formal request while in communication with God.
Notice how the passage doesn't say that God will remove you from your troubles, but rather that the peace of God will guard your heart and mind. It's an amazing thing.
Try it! See what God does!
Isaiah 8
Caleb 6
Naomi 2
