I heard a beautiful poem this morning that spoke about God's purpose in our times of waiting. You know the times I am talking about, where we feel like we have begged and pleaded with God to change our circumstances, to heal an illness, or speed up an adoption, and yet, we are left wondering. Hoping. Waiting.
There are times we might think God must not hear us. After all, He is probably knee deep in the mud and muck of more serious problems, right?
It is easy to flirt with the idea that I could do a better job ordering my life, but whenever those thoughts occur, I am reminded of Job 38, and then I wisely close my mouth.
In this passage God is responding to Job's question of why he was suffering, but it could very well be His answer to me.
Job 38:2-4
"Who is this that darkens my counsel
with words without knowledge?...
Where were you wen I laid the earth's foundation?
Tell me if you understand."
8-11
"Who shut up the sea behind doors
when it burst forth from the womb,
when I made the clouds its garment
and wrapped it in thick darkness,
when I fixed limits for it
and set its doors and bars in place,
when I said, 'this far you may come and no farther;
here is where your proud waves halt'?"
19-21
"What is the way to the abode of light?
And where does darkness reside?
Can you take them to their places?
Do you know the paths to their dwellings?
Surely you know, for you were already born!
You have lived so many years!"
I love that hint of sarcasm!
Could it be that in our personal time of waiting, God is revealing his goodness, mercy, love and compassion; that He is showing us He is all we need, but we are too focused on ourselves to see it?
Wait
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried:
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait."
"Wait? You say, wait!" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith, I have asked, and am claiming your Word.
My future and all to which I can relate
hangs in the balance, and YOU tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a 'yes', go-ahead and sign,
or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
And Lord, You promised that if we believe
we need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taught
and grumbling to God, "So, I'm waiting... for what?"
He seemed, then, to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,
And he tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.
All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want--But, you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint;
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence were all you could see.
You'd never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I give and I save... (for a start),
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
Of the infinite God, who makes what you have LAST.
You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that "My grace is sufficient for Thee."
Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true,
But, Oh, the Loss! If I lost what I'm doing in you!
So, be silent, My Child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft' My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer is still, "WAIT."
Author Unknown
Do you remember the document I mentioned in my last post, the one that in order to get I had to convince a county official that this is, in fact, true and accurate information, and that a judge in Russia really is requesting it? Well, I was able to get it, or rather, I will be able to get it....on May 15th.
Let me back up a little bit and explain....
There are two different pieces of information included in this document. One is the total assessed value of our home and the other is a summary of our warranty deed. While this makes sense to the judges in Russia to have these two documents combined, it has proven to be difficult to get here in the United States. The reason is because these documents are generated from two different government agencies. In our case it is the Ada County Recorder's Office and the Ada County Assessor's Office.
Thankfully, we were given a template from a document, including all of the proper language, that we know the judges have been accepting. By using the information on our warranty deed, I filled out the portions that were provided, but I still needed to call the assessors office and convince them to sign this document.
So I was on the phone on Thursday morning, talking to a really nice man (and believe me, he was very friendly) about this crazy document that needs to be signed by someone in the county assessor's office. At the same time, this man was equally sure that I should be talking with someone from the recorders office instead. That's when I realized that this was really stressing me out, because I felt a lump in my throat and hot tears start to roll down my cheeks. Sensing the change in my voice, he decided to connect me to someone in the assessor's office, though I am not sure if it was because he felt sorry for me or if he was just saving himself from this crazy woman on the other end of the line.
As silly as I unintentionally made myself look, it worked. As I sat there wiping my tears with my sleeve, listening to the phone ring as I waited to be connected to the assessor's office, the Lord said to me, "I know it's hard."
Wow, thank you Lord for acknowledging that what seems like a simple phone call is very hard for me.
I can't explain what His words did for me, aside from make me cry even more. I have been trying so hard to be obedient to Him, and in some ways I thought that God would honor my obedience by making this whole adoption process go smoothly. But that hasn't been the case. This adoption has cost us in every aspect of our lives, in the way of finances, emotions, relationships and time. We have made ourselves vulnerable in ways I never though possible, but God has revealed Himself in ways we never would have seen otherwise. And do you know what? I would do it again if He asked because it has been worth it.
Sorry for the abrupt change here, but I am going to get back to m story.....
I didn't quite have the chance to gather myself before I had to explain my situation to another person, but I held it together a little better. After exchanging a few phone calls, I found out that the new assessments will be completed on May 15 and that we can have our document signed (warranty deed information and all) on that same day.
I can't explain to you how good it feels to have that weight lifted on my shoulders. It's great and that is all I can say!
Isaiah 61:1-3
"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me...He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted...to give them beauty for ashes....that He might be glorified."
Let me back up a little bit and explain....
There are two different pieces of information included in this document. One is the total assessed value of our home and the other is a summary of our warranty deed. While this makes sense to the judges in Russia to have these two documents combined, it has proven to be difficult to get here in the United States. The reason is because these documents are generated from two different government agencies. In our case it is the Ada County Recorder's Office and the Ada County Assessor's Office.
Thankfully, we were given a template from a document, including all of the proper language, that we know the judges have been accepting. By using the information on our warranty deed, I filled out the portions that were provided, but I still needed to call the assessors office and convince them to sign this document.
So I was on the phone on Thursday morning, talking to a really nice man (and believe me, he was very friendly) about this crazy document that needs to be signed by someone in the county assessor's office. At the same time, this man was equally sure that I should be talking with someone from the recorders office instead. That's when I realized that this was really stressing me out, because I felt a lump in my throat and hot tears start to roll down my cheeks. Sensing the change in my voice, he decided to connect me to someone in the assessor's office, though I am not sure if it was because he felt sorry for me or if he was just saving himself from this crazy woman on the other end of the line.
As silly as I unintentionally made myself look, it worked. As I sat there wiping my tears with my sleeve, listening to the phone ring as I waited to be connected to the assessor's office, the Lord said to me, "I know it's hard."
Wow, thank you Lord for acknowledging that what seems like a simple phone call is very hard for me.
I can't explain what His words did for me, aside from make me cry even more. I have been trying so hard to be obedient to Him, and in some ways I thought that God would honor my obedience by making this whole adoption process go smoothly. But that hasn't been the case. This adoption has cost us in every aspect of our lives, in the way of finances, emotions, relationships and time. We have made ourselves vulnerable in ways I never though possible, but God has revealed Himself in ways we never would have seen otherwise. And do you know what? I would do it again if He asked because it has been worth it.
Sorry for the abrupt change here, but I am going to get back to m story.....
I didn't quite have the chance to gather myself before I had to explain my situation to another person, but I held it together a little better. After exchanging a few phone calls, I found out that the new assessments will be completed on May 15 and that we can have our document signed (warranty deed information and all) on that same day.
I can't explain to you how good it feels to have that weight lifted on my shoulders. It's great and that is all I can say!
Isaiah 61:1-3
"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me...He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted...to give them beauty for ashes....that He might be glorified."
Have you ever played that game where you stare at another person until someone blinks? I don't recall the name of the game, but it is really funny to watch as people contort their faces just to keep from blinking. If you don't know what I am talking about, go ahead and try it; just focus on a word on this page and try not to blink.
Go ahead, I'll wait....
It's not long after starting the staring contest that you feel your eyes start to burn, and no amount of squinting, eye widening or mouth twisting will ease the discomfort. Then it happens, someone blinks and losses the game, and immediately the pressure is gone and faces go back to normal.
This happened to me the other day, but it wasn't because I was playing a game, it was in response to a question that took me by surprise.
Let me set the scene for you:
We have this little common area that is about 200 feet from our house that has trees, large rocks and tall grass. Isaiah and Caleb love it, and can easily spend the entire day there, climbing trees, swinging from branches, jumping off rocks and exploring the area looking for treasures.
It was during one of our trips to the common area last week where I met a woman whose daughter wanted to play with the other kids. Out of the blue and with a hint of disgust, she asked me "is it boring being a stay at home mom?"
Blink
After a few seconds of blinking ferociously, I said, "I wish boredom was my problem."
Instead, my day has been filled with: making breakfast, get kids out of bed, look for shoes, wash dishes, deal with whining, wipe a three year old's bottom, search for homework and library book, get Isaiah to the bus stop, grocery shopping, make snacks, put away groceries, three loads of laundry, play monster trucks with Caleb, pick up Isaiah from the bus stop, make lunch, plant potatoes, water the garden, wash dishes, help Isaiah with homework, fold laundry, break up a fight, chop vegetables for dinner, blog, play at the park, unclog a toilet, wipe a three year old's bottom, deal with whining, fold more laundry, pay bills, make snacks, clean up spilled juice, make dinner, deal with whining, eat dinner, clean up spilled milk, wash dishes, check e-mail, answer some phone calls, break up a fight, sweep floors, get boys in the shower, make another snack, brush their teeth, read a story...light's out....and it's only Monday!
Yeah, boredom sounds pretty good right about now.
And just to keep me on my toes, I was informed by our caseworker that Russia is now asking families to provide an in-summary document of our (already completed, notarized, apostilled and translated) Verification of Residence and Warranty Deed. This document must be generated from the county assessor's office, but because this is a new requirement and most likely something they have not been asked to do before, it could be very difficult to get.
So, sometime this week, I get to try to convince our county assessor to write a document that does not coincide with their government issued documents.
Blink
Go ahead, I'll wait....
It's not long after starting the staring contest that you feel your eyes start to burn, and no amount of squinting, eye widening or mouth twisting will ease the discomfort. Then it happens, someone blinks and losses the game, and immediately the pressure is gone and faces go back to normal.
This happened to me the other day, but it wasn't because I was playing a game, it was in response to a question that took me by surprise.
Let me set the scene for you:
We have this little common area that is about 200 feet from our house that has trees, large rocks and tall grass. Isaiah and Caleb love it, and can easily spend the entire day there, climbing trees, swinging from branches, jumping off rocks and exploring the area looking for treasures.
It was during one of our trips to the common area last week where I met a woman whose daughter wanted to play with the other kids. Out of the blue and with a hint of disgust, she asked me "is it boring being a stay at home mom?"
Blink
After a few seconds of blinking ferociously, I said, "I wish boredom was my problem."
Instead, my day has been filled with: making breakfast, get kids out of bed, look for shoes, wash dishes, deal with whining, wipe a three year old's bottom, search for homework and library book, get Isaiah to the bus stop, grocery shopping, make snacks, put away groceries, three loads of laundry, play monster trucks with Caleb, pick up Isaiah from the bus stop, make lunch, plant potatoes, water the garden, wash dishes, help Isaiah with homework, fold laundry, break up a fight, chop vegetables for dinner, blog, play at the park, unclog a toilet, wipe a three year old's bottom, deal with whining, fold more laundry, pay bills, make snacks, clean up spilled juice, make dinner, deal with whining, eat dinner, clean up spilled milk, wash dishes, check e-mail, answer some phone calls, break up a fight, sweep floors, get boys in the shower, make another snack, brush their teeth, read a story...light's out....and it's only Monday!
Yeah, boredom sounds pretty good right about now.
And just to keep me on my toes, I was informed by our caseworker that Russia is now asking families to provide an in-summary document of our (already completed, notarized, apostilled and translated) Verification of Residence and Warranty Deed. This document must be generated from the county assessor's office, but because this is a new requirement and most likely something they have not been asked to do before, it could be very difficult to get.
So, sometime this week, I get to try to convince our county assessor to write a document that does not coincide with their government issued documents.
Blink
New Life
Labels: Fishers of Men
I stepped outside today and took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the cool spring air. We have had a series of spring storms that have cleaned out the valley and brought forth new life. The dark green grass mixed with the sunny yellow and pure white flowers of the magnolia trees have announced springs arrival.
Psalm 118:23-24
The Lord has done this,
and it is marvelous in our eyes.
This is the day the Lord has made;
I will rejoice and be glad in it.
This is the time of year where I love to open up the windows and air out the house; to hear the birds chirping and kids playing. Sometimes a stray piece of paper will get caught up in the breeze that flows through the house and I can hear it fall lazily to the ground. I can see the vibrant colors, smell the blooming flowers and freshly cut grass and feel the wind that swirls around me, bringing with it the excitement of new life.
As I ponder this season, I can't help but be reminded that this is what Jesus' death on the cross brought us...new life. Through his sacrifice we are no longer held captive by the icy grips of sin and death. His suffering freed us so that we may have new life in Christ.
2 Corinthians 5:17 (HCSB)
Therefore if anyone is in Christ,
there is a new creation;
old things have passed away,
and look, new things have come.
God desires relationship with us. Just like a cleansing spring breeze that flows through a house, He wants us to open up the windows of our souls; to take a deep breath and let His Spirit flow through us.
Like the flowers of the field that bring forth new life after being held captive by the sting of winter, so too have we been given new life in Christ.
May you come to experience that life in Christ is not filled with rules and regulations, but rather freedom, hope and joy....As for me, I think I have a few windows that need to be opened up.
This is my favorite time of year.
It really is.
"It is finished"
With those three words Jesus committed his spirit to God and conquered the power of sin and death. Every time I read these words I get chills just thinking about the power, authority and truth that Jesus spoke just before he died. Think about it; here is a man who was betrayed, spit upon, humiliated, mocked, whipped, beaten and then nailed to a cross where every ounce of his body slowly, excruciatingly succumbs to death.
We can read through the gospel accounts of Jesus' death in a matter of minutes, and yet, not fully grasp its meaning. After all, he wasn't the only person to experience crucifixion, right? What makes Jesus so special that we worship him and not the others who were crucified before and after him?
I will give you one word: Love
You see, Jesus wasn't a criminal; he didn't murder anybody. He wasn't hateful, proud or judgmental. He didn't deserve to be on that cross....we did. And yet he loved us so much that he was willing to give his life for us.
A baby born in Bethlehem
Love
A healer to the downtrodden
Love
A king on a donkey
Love
Jesus betrayed
Love
Jesus whipped and bloody
Love
Jesus mocked and spit upon
Love
Jesus' arms stretched out
Love
Jesus' body torn as nails rip through bones and nerves
Love
Jesus hanging on the cross
Love
For nearly six hours Jesus hangs on that cross. Fighting the pain, he arches his back, puts weight on the nails and pulls himself up, just so he can take a breath. But his body is giving out and with each breath he gets weaker until he can no longer muster the strength to breathe.
Knowing this is the end, Jesus, the Son of God, in a mere whisper says:
"It is finished"
And with those three whispered words the armies of darkness were defeated.
Love
Romans 8:15-17
For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs - heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
It really is.
"It is finished"
With those three words Jesus committed his spirit to God and conquered the power of sin and death. Every time I read these words I get chills just thinking about the power, authority and truth that Jesus spoke just before he died. Think about it; here is a man who was betrayed, spit upon, humiliated, mocked, whipped, beaten and then nailed to a cross where every ounce of his body slowly, excruciatingly succumbs to death.
We can read through the gospel accounts of Jesus' death in a matter of minutes, and yet, not fully grasp its meaning. After all, he wasn't the only person to experience crucifixion, right? What makes Jesus so special that we worship him and not the others who were crucified before and after him?
I will give you one word: Love
You see, Jesus wasn't a criminal; he didn't murder anybody. He wasn't hateful, proud or judgmental. He didn't deserve to be on that cross....we did. And yet he loved us so much that he was willing to give his life for us.
A baby born in Bethlehem
Love
A healer to the downtrodden
Love
A king on a donkey
Love
Jesus betrayed
Love
Jesus whipped and bloody
Love
Jesus mocked and spit upon
Love
Jesus' arms stretched out
Love
Jesus' body torn as nails rip through bones and nerves
Love
Jesus hanging on the cross
Love
For nearly six hours Jesus hangs on that cross. Fighting the pain, he arches his back, puts weight on the nails and pulls himself up, just so he can take a breath. But his body is giving out and with each breath he gets weaker until he can no longer muster the strength to breathe.
Knowing this is the end, Jesus, the Son of God, in a mere whisper says:
"It is finished"
And with those three whispered words the armies of darkness were defeated.
Love
Romans 8:15-17
For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs - heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
I just wanted to take a minute to update you on a few changes.
As a result of the slow down in the court system, the wait times in Novosibirsk have been increased from six months to ten months. Because we have been waiting for five months, and up until a few weeks ago were considered on the longer end of the wait time, our case manager mentioned that we can pursue another region if we choose. However, Adam and I both agree that we would like to continue our adoption through the Novosibirsk region.
There are two reasons for this.
1 - We know that this is where the Lord is leading us and that our daughter is somewhere in this region.
2 - If we were to change regions now, we would be put at the bottom of the list in whichever region we choose. More than likely this would result in a much longer wait time.
God has given us so much peace throughout this whole experience. There have been many times where we could easily become frustrated and give up, but the Lord has been so faithful in keeping our eyes focused not only on the adoption, but on our growth as Christians as we step out in faith and trust that God will work out the details.
Speaking of details...
Adam was informed that he is required to take six days of vacation anytime between now and July 4th. While it sounds wonderful, he has been saving his vacation for the two trips that we must take to Russia and there is no guarantee that we will have a referral by July.
Could you please be praying that the timing works out just right?
Blessings,
Anna
As a result of the slow down in the court system, the wait times in Novosibirsk have been increased from six months to ten months. Because we have been waiting for five months, and up until a few weeks ago were considered on the longer end of the wait time, our case manager mentioned that we can pursue another region if we choose. However, Adam and I both agree that we would like to continue our adoption through the Novosibirsk region.
There are two reasons for this.
1 - We know that this is where the Lord is leading us and that our daughter is somewhere in this region.
2 - If we were to change regions now, we would be put at the bottom of the list in whichever region we choose. More than likely this would result in a much longer wait time.
God has given us so much peace throughout this whole experience. There have been many times where we could easily become frustrated and give up, but the Lord has been so faithful in keeping our eyes focused not only on the adoption, but on our growth as Christians as we step out in faith and trust that God will work out the details.
Speaking of details...
Adam was informed that he is required to take six days of vacation anytime between now and July 4th. While it sounds wonderful, he has been saving his vacation for the two trips that we must take to Russia and there is no guarantee that we will have a referral by July.
Could you please be praying that the timing works out just right?
Blessings,
Anna
Isaiah 8
Caleb 6
Naomi 2
