Did you know that we have been on the waiting list for a child referral for, oh...367 days now? It's true. Tuesday marked our one year anniversary. And let me be the first to tell you that it was not celebrated with cake and balloons.

Don't get me wrong. Waiting has not been a problem. In fact, it's been really good for us. We have grown in our walk with the Lord and learned to put our full trust in Him, and as a result, we have seen Him provide in ways we never thought possible.

My problem is that the date of this anniversary also marks the expiration of the documents included in the second segment of our dossier. These documents expire every year, and if they aren't kept up to date, we will not be issued a referral. I have anticipated this for the last month, and knew it would come any day now, but was not prepared for the sinking feeling I got last night as I opened up an e-mail from our case manager and saw these documents staring me in the face.

For reasons that I don't fully understand, my weakness is this dossier. It makes me physically sick with dread. My jaw hurts, my stomach is in knots and I am having a hard time eating, but I will now let it conquer me. Because if there is one thing that I am sure of, it's this: God doesn't want just our strengths, He wants our weaknesses too. After all, that's where He shines. And if I can be a light for Him, then I will bear this cross to wear the crown.


Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly, Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision, where I live in the depths but see Thee in the heights; hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold Thy glory. Let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up, that to be low is to be high, that the broken heart is the healed heart, that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, that the repenting soul is the victorious soul, that to have nothing is to possess all, that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, that to give is to receive, that the valley is the place of vision. Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells, and the deeper the wells, the brighter Thy stars shine; let me find Thy light in my darkness, Thy life in my death, Thy joy in my sorrow, Thy grace in my sin, Thy riches in my poverty, Thy glory in my valley.

The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions

There is nothing quite like traveling in cars with children. Think about it. Your ability to react is severely hampered by the fact that 1- you are securely held in place by your seat belt. 2- The lack of space between the center console and roof of the car makes it nearly impossible to reach your children without first knocking yourself senseless. It's a lose lose situation, and as a result, by the time you exit your vehicle, you will either be frustrated and stressed out or laughing maniacally while your eyes slowly glaze over.

The following is an excerpt of the strange, albeit stressful, happenings in our car that have left me with a nervous eye twitch and strong desire for chocolate. Maybe you can relate?

“Oops, I forgot that I still have a slug in my pocket.”

“What is a slug doing in your pocket Isaiah? On second thought, don’t answer that. Just get it out before you forget about it and it goes through the wash.”

“I’m trying to get it out, but I can’t find it.”

“A slug? There’s a slug in the car? Get it out before it leaves a slimy trail.”

“I’m trying to find it dad, but…oh wait, here it is in the corner of my pocket!”

“DON’T OPEN THE DOOR, WE’RE DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD!”

“But you said to get rid of it!”

“For Pete’s sake! Throwing it out the window would have been sufficient!”

“But I didn’t want it to get hurt!”

"Could you please pull over Adam. I need to get out of this car."

“Hey, Mom. Would you rather have no food or no air?”

“What kind of question is that? I don't even know how to answer such a question.”

“Well what about you dad. No food or no air?”

“Please stop talking Isaiah. We need to have silence in the car.”

“Can I just say one more thing? Caleb’s seatbelt is not buckled.”

“WHAT?!”

“I said his seat belt is not buckl...”

“We heard what you said. Caleb, honey, why isn’t your seat belt buckled?”

“Because I can’t do it.”

“What are you talking about? You do it all the time.”

“Dad, did you know that 32+32 equals 64?”

“I said silence, Isaiah. Who keeps kicking my seat?”

“It’s my elbow, Adam! I’m trying to unlock Caleb’s seat belt. Isaiah, I thought we told you to get rid of the slug.”

“I DID!”

“Then what is that on the floor?”

“What, that?”

“Yes, that!”

“It’s a smashed raisin.”

“WHO’S SMASHING RAISINS IN MY CAR?”

“It’s just one raisin, Adam. And don’t worry, I can get it out.”

"Mom, are we there yet?"

"Isaiah, we just left the house 3 minutes...Why is Caleb crying?"

"Because I'm playing with his car."

"Give him the car."

"But it's not fair that I don't have a car."

"Isaiah, give Caleb his car, sit on your hands and shut your mouth. Caleb, stop crying. Adam, drive faster."

...Why should we live with such hurry and waste of life?
-Henry David Thoreau



As we were walking to the bus stop the other day, Isaiah ran up to me with his eyes full of excitement and his hands gently cupped as though he was carrying a very precious gift.

At first I cringed, thinking that he was going to stick a worm in my face. It wouldn't be the first time. But then he reassured me that it wasn't a worm and he promised that I really would like the treasure that he was holding.

Pinky promise, Mom.

When he opened his hands I saw that his treasure was a leaf that had been covered in a thin layer of frost, and just below that layer was the autumn colors of the leaf reflecting off the frost. Within a few minutes, the warmth of Isaiahs hands slowly turned the frost to tiny beads of water and the bright green, deep purple and hot pink colors of the leaf became even more vibrant as they glimmered in the sunlight.

For a moment, everything stopped. There was no concern over being the first in line at the bus stop or even making it to the bus on time. We were unaware of cars driving by and we didn't hear the conversations of the people around us.

For a moment, it was just Isaiah, Caleb and I, stopped in our tracks, staring at this leaf and marveling at the beauty of God's creation.

It was a gift. A beautiful gift, but one that makes me wonder: how many times have I missed out on experiencing life because I am in a hurry to get to my next destination?

I think it's time to take a breath and be still.

I want to live my life with less hurry. I want to be mindful of where my time and energy is spent and I want my children to grow up knowing that contrary to popular belief, they will never be fulfilled if they base their self-worth on having a lot of money, a busy schedule or a big house.

Instead, I want them to live their lives with a sense of purpose; To see the beauty in life and know the power of the God they serve.

That's real fulfillment.

And I have a feeling that Isaiah is on the right track...

I like salsa.

And when I say salsa, I don't necessarily mean this:





Although, I will admit that this Salsa is pretty darn smooth.

My husband, the bike junkie, bought it for me early this summer after spotting it in a high end bike shop that he frequents often. He was so impressed by this bike that he was willing to sell his Cannondale single speed in order to buy it.

Don't tell him this, but I'm pretty sure he was more moved by the guilt of selling the mountain bike he bought me as a wedding present over 9 years ago, just so that he could buy another race bike.

Just kidding. I actually encouraged him to sell my bike because I had really young children at the time and as a result, mountain biking was last on my list of things to do. Actually, it was not even close to making it on that list. I think it has been filed under the list of things to do when my children leave home.

But that's not the case anymore. I have a bike again, and now a whole new world of possibilities has opened up to me. And while I love riding my Salsa, I must admit that I was not prepared for the comments it would receive, all because of this little part here:



To those of you who know what this is, I commend you. But more than that, I feel sorry for any non-cyclist that lives in your household who knows what a Chris King headset is for the simple fact that they hear the word all too often and, let's face it, any other bike term including but not limited to: carbon fiber, full rigid, full suspension, tubeless and my all time favorite...grams. *ugh

And because I fall into the category of 'non-cyclist living with a cyclist', this is the comment I hear most often:

You bought your wife a Chris King headset!?

To which I reply solely for the looks on their faces:

Chris King headset? Is that supposed to be cool? I just like the color and the curves of the bike.

Well, that and the little chili peppers that adorn it.


Speaking of chili peppers - sorry, I got way off track here - here is the recipe for canned tomato and chili pepper salsa.

In honor of my bike, I will name this my Salsa, salsa!



6 cups peeled, cored and chopped tomatoes
4 cups seeded, chopped green chiles
1 large red pepper, seeded and chopped
2 large green peppers, seeded and chopped
1 1/2 cups chopped onion
2 jalapeno's, seeded and chopped
12 cloves garlic finely chopped
3 cups vinegar
1 tsp. ground cumin
4 tsp. oregano
3 tsp. salt

Throw all the ingredients in a large pot and heat on medium high, stirring frequently, until mixture comes to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally. Ladle salsa into pint jars, leaving 1/2 inch of headspace. Wipe rims with a damp cloth and place lids and screw bands on jars. Process in a boiling water canner for 20 minutes, 25 minutes if you live above 6,000 feet.

Yields: approximately 7 pints.



I recommend using a food processor to chop up your onions and peppers. It just makes life easier!

Oh, and this is a pretty spicy salsa. If you don't like spicy stuff, make your adjustments accordingly.

Enjoy!

As for me, I am off to enjoy my salsa. No, not that salsa. The other one.

It's been awhile since I have given an update on this whole adoption thing, and while I feel like a broken record at times, the truth is, there really isn't much going on...at least not in the referral department.

I did however have a chance to speak with the Russia program manager at WACAP this morning who had some very good information on what we should expect over the next couple of months, and so I will share that with you.

*As you may remember, there was a significant slowdown in the Novosibirsk region last winter due to administrative changes in Russia, causing referrals to come to a near standstill. As of today, things have picked up significantly, and families have been receiving referrals on a first come, first served basis.

*What I do know is that the most recent referrals have been given to families that submitted their dossiers shortly before we did. However, I am unsure of how many families, through all adoption agencies worldwide, have submitted their dossiers between those times, and therefore, it is difficult to say how much longer our wait will be.

*I can say that there is hope that we will receive a referral before the years end. However, it is also safe to say that we will hold that time frame with an open hand, not because of anything WACAP is doing, but because I have learned that when dealing with international adoption there will be many unforeseen obstacles. It's not a complaint, it's just the truth. And I can seriously say that with a smile on my face...most of the time.

Over the next few weeks I will be working on having the second segment of our dossier documents updated, as they will be expiring in November. Honestly, I would rather swallow 30 razor blades and drink a bottle of rubbing alcohol than deal with these documents, but nevertheless, it needs to be done, and so I shall do it. Please be praying for my sanity during this time.

Have a very blessed day!
Anna

Okay. I'm back.

This has been an especially busy season in our lives. Well, actually, its just been a really busy week and a half, but in my defense, it felt more like a season. Part of this is due to the fact that we had family visiting for the last five days, and as can be assumed, I got off track. But the issue that I am experiencing right now is just a flat out lack of inspiration.

Seriously. There are so many other things that I should be doing right now, like: exercising, cleaning my house, playing with my kids, cooking dinner or folding the 5 loads of laundry that is sitting on my couch. The truth is though, those things will always be around staring me down and causing my eye to twitch nervously, and so today I will choose to ignore them.

Actually, I'm not choosing to ignore them, it's just that I got myself back on track and, coincidentally, found my inspiration and as a result, I am going to focus on that for the time being.

So without further ado - and if you can get beyond the abrupt subject change - here it is.

Calling

You know the story about Samson and Delilah, right?

If not, here's the story in a nutshell:
Samson falls in love with a Philistine woman named Delilah, who tricks him into telling her the secret to his strength. When he falls asleep, his hair is cut off, causing his strength to leave him, giving the Philistines the ability to capture him, gouge out his eyes and use him as entertainment.

I agree, it's a very gruesome story, and in many ways it would be easy for us to point fingers at him and say "that's what you get for sleeping with Philistine women." But the truth is, we can be just as guilty of our actions, albeit in different ways.

It might help to take a look at Samson's life early on, because from the time he was in his mothers womb, he was set apart, by God, as a Nazirite. This meant that he was not allowed to (among other things) drink wine, eat meat, or cut his hair. This was a lifelong commitment for Samson and was meant to be used as an example for the Isrealites to be set apart from the cultures that surrounded them.

The Philistines were one of those cultures. Not only were they considered to be highly sophisticated with their iron-smithing technology, olive presses and gods, but they were also ruling over Isreal at the time.

This is where Samson's calling becomes very important. As he grew up and continued to follow the Nazirite vow, God blessed him. But it wasn't long before he desired to marry a Philistine woman - going directly against his calling - and chose instead to become a part of the very culture that he was called to oppose.

As I stated before, it is so easy to look as Samson's tragic life and say that he deserved it. And the truth is, he did! But what about us? Are we living our lives according to the calling God has given us? Or are we living our lives according to the values of the world? Maybe some of us could be called 'schizophrenic' Christians, alternating between godly lives one day and worldly values the next.

I love biblical history. I love that we can glean wisdom from the very imperfect, often catastrophic characters that God uses. And I think one of the greatest lessons we can learn from Samson is that when we become a part of worldly culture, we are ineffective for the kingdom of God. But when we live our lives according to the calling God has given us, we have purpose and direction in our lives, and that is when amazing things start to happen.

I don't understand boys.

You would think that I would be seasoned by now. After all, I grew up with three brothers, and I now have two boys of my own.

But I will admit that I am still perplexed by them, and on many eye-rolling occasions, have even told the boys so.

No Caleb, I am not chasing you. Just stand still for one second.



Do you think it would be possible to smile like most normal people?



It doesn't matter how soft those boxing gloves are. If you hit unsuspecting people with them, they will get mad!



I don't care if it makes your stomach feel weird. I'm not ready to deal with broken bones yet...please take it easy.

Oh dear.



You lucked out on the last one, Isaiah. If you end up scraping your face on the climbing rocks, don't come crying to me.




Does everything have to be a competition?



Who put this on the doorstep?
It's not funny.
I just about wet myself!



It's no wonder why I think I've lost my mind at times.