Wouldn't it be nice if we actually had these types of signs as we go about daily life, warning us that a difficult situation is about to present itself?
I could have used this warning sign several months ago, but unless it was flashing neon pink lights, I probably would not have seen it.
My problem is that I have spent the past few months with my head down, relying on my own strength in order to get through the day and it hasn't been working. The harder I have tried to get it all done, the more I stumble on my rocky path.
There are times in life when the rocky path is unavoidable. Circumstances beyond my control lead me there, and I must navigate through the boulders and loose sedimentary rocks as I make my way to solid ground. When I let God lead me through the rocky patches, the boulders don't seem quite as big; my feet are more sturdy on the loose ground, and I become more like Him.
But let's be clear about something, because before I can even come close to resembling a tiny shred of God's character, I will have to experience a lifetime of ups and downs, and do so while allowing God to mold and shape me.
It sounds so easy when I read it on my computer screen, but how do you do that when you find yourself bruised and broken in a 'crack in the ground' and it's not because of circumstances beyond your control?
At some point in the last few months, amidst the mud and muck of motherhood, I took my eyes off God and aimed them at my feet. And that is exactly why I am here - because I couldn't see where I was walking, and it landed me in this darn crack.
It started as a slow slide. But with each passing argument between my kids; each appointment that needed to be met; each whine in my face about why 'I don't want that', or 'it's not fair' or 'you never let me do anything', finally wears you down, and you have a hard time speaking kindly to those children who seem to have grown horns and are prancing around wearing little red capes.
Don't get me wrong. Motherhood is fantastic...except for when it's not.
I say all of this because I am sitting in a 'crack in the ground' with a really bad attitude and a strong desire to stick my tongue out at my kids...and I could use your prayers.
Anna Banana
Payns | August 10, 2010 at 3:20 PM
Sending prayers your way. I felt the same way until this weekend. I enjoyed a break from the chaos to sit back and get some much needed rest. God I don't think needs us to always have the answer, sometimes we have to just let our children vent and empathize with them. You will get through this. You are a great mother.