Revelation

As Caleb and I were pulling into our subdivision yesterday, he asked me to pull over and let him walk home. Mind you, he is only 3 and our house is not very close to the entrance, so naturally, I said no.

Unfortunately for Caleb, this is not what he wanted to hear, so after pulling into the garage, he decided that the only way to show me that he was not happy was by throwing his monster truck out of the car. When he realized that all this did was make me laugh, he did it again, and again, and again; getting a little more frustrated and mad with each throw.

Okay, I will admit that I should not have laughed, but it was interesting, and somewhat humorous, watching him process his frustration. It's as though his little body was going to explode unless he released some of that energy.

So in an effort to show Caleb that he doesn't get away with that behavior, I sent him to his room. Little did I know that he had a plan of his own. Five minutes later I went into his room and noticed that he had dumped out all of his cars, legos and other random toys and scattered them everywhere.

At the time, all I could think was "this is the last thing I need to be dealing with right now." And at that moment I think I saw him laugh at me.

Oh well I suppose I deserved that.

Moving on now....

To get to my original point of this story, which, believe it or not, is not about Caleb's tantrum, but rather about God opening my eyes in the middle the chaos that so often surrounds me.

In an effort not to let my 3 year old child get the best of me, and I suppose in some ways to escape my own reality, I decided to turn on some music. As I was scrolling through the radio stations I heard a song by Third Day called Revelations, and as I stopped to listen, I had my own revelation from the Lord.

You see, Adam and I are in a time of wondering where God is taking us. So our prayer, for awhile now, has been that God would reveal his will for our lives and prepare us. While it sounds very simple, that fact that we are in the middle of our adoption complicates things. I know that God is not concerned because this will all work out in His own timing and for His glory. But, from my human viewpoint, I can't see all the pieces coming together, and it makes me a little nervous.

As I listened to the words, I shot up a prayer that God would show us what to do, because now, more than ever, we need to know that He is in control; that He knows where we are, and He won't let us fall. And yet, at the same time that I am praying through this song, He is telling me that He hears me. He knows my concerns; He knows my fears and He knows that where I fall short in faith, He fills the gap.

So we are left to wait on the Lord. There are still pieces of this puzzle that are scattered and until the Lord connects them, we have to continue trusting that we are exactly where we are supposed to be. It is not magically fixed at the moment, but it is good enough. And when the time comes that we get to see the whole picture, all this, the fear, concern and wonder, it will all be worth it.

Thank you Lord, for this journey. For along the way, we have experienced you, your grace, love and providence as never before.